The life of a FABULOUS fat girl and her struggle with PCOS, Diabetes, IC and Pudendal Neuralgia and her journey through weight loss surgery.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

(Insurance)Just got paperwork today that my HMO is no longer available. That means that IF I don't have weight loss surgery soon, it may be delayed if the new insurance doesn't cooperate. Really bummed and stressed about it all. Really wish I would've made the decision sooner.
(Luck)If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.- Jim Carrey as Charlie in "Me, Myself & Irene". These words ring so true today.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Weight of the World

I'm not sure how my best friend does it, juggling an infant, a full time job over an hour away and a husband. I can barely do it now and I'm not working and have no children.
Today was one of those days. It started out bad. Our shower head is broken but you can rig it to work, for the most part, this morning it was not cooperating. Should've known this was the precursor for the day. My group info session for a job went well. They're interested in me so I continue on my journey. I also got a call this evening about another possible job lead that I am working on. So, I've got stuff I'm working on.
I've continued to call my doctor's office to see what's going on with the referral I need to start meeting with the weight loss and surgeon and I'm getting nowhere. I'll keep trying. The job I went to the morning may not start until January and IF I can have the surgery before I start, great! Otherwise it will get put off until March-April next year. REALLY bummed if that happens.
My husband went to work and was dropping off some stuff for a friend and our only car died. Of course, we don't have the funds right now for this and EVERYTHING else. Luckily, we have someone who is going to help us out until we can get it all straightened out. Angels everywhere! I swear.
I'm tired, I can't sleep with everything going on in my head. Worried about work, bills, my health and all the other daily crap is just getting to me. I had a good cry though, mascara running down my face, the body cleansing sobs, the whole nine yards.
I'm just very thankful we have friends. I'm not quite sure I could handle all this without them.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

New Kids on the Block and Country Music

Haha! In all my excitement, I forgot to mention I finally saw the New Kids the week before I got married. My wonderful other best friend hooked me up with one of her friends who had an extra ticket and my husband gave me the heads up to go. I felt like I was transported back to 1989 and I was 13. I had so much fun and was so greatful to my best friend "B" for remembering my obsession with them. LOL!
I also am super stoked that my best friend "A" now likes country music!!!! So now "A" & "B" best friends, which by the way are their first initials like my stuff! LOL!

Long time, no blog...

I finally have the time and the want to blog again. I took a long break. So much has changed since I was last on here in February. Well, my best friend, who had a baby in 2008, that I was friends with since infancy and I no longer speak. I'm okay with that.
My VERY best friend, who has been wonderfully there throughout it all, had her first baby. A darling little girl who Auntie Bridge LOVES to dote on. I am so fortunate to have her in my life and that my best friend understands my need to be a big part of her life.
I unfortunately lost my job a few weeks after my best friend had her baby. In the end, even though the last 6 months have been rough, it's for the better.
My boyfriend and I, have careful thought, got engaged finally. We decided we didn't want a long courtship so, we got married in Vegas on June 30th by ourselves.
We had a blast. We went to so many places and saw 2 Cirque shows. The roughest parts were the day before I got married, I got an e-mail from my dad saying he and my mom loved me. That was it. I'm not sure if he knew I could check my e-mail from my phone while on vacation, but it tore me up. I wish they could've left well enough alone. When I broke the engagement news to them, neither was excited for me or congratulated us. Then when I talked to my mom a few weeks before I got married, I tried to tell her some of the plans or stuff that was going on and she couldn't be bothered. On the day of my wedding, my aunt/godmother decided to leave me a message asking me if this was really what I wanted and my other aunt left a cryptic message. My second aunt did call after they were able to view my ceremony live from Vegas and said how nice it all was. I spoke with my grandma and grandpa as well. My grandpa actually was the only one who congratulated both me and my husband. Oh well.
Aside from looking for work and going thru various health issues, including breaking my toe AGAIN! I've made the decision to have weight loss surgery. I need it for me. I can't function this was anymore. I feel like I'm trapped inside my body. And I'm SCREAMING to get out. I have gone thru the first step, which is attending an informational meeting at the hospital. Next, I'm waiting for the insurance to go through all the necessary steps. I'm VERY excited.
My husband and best friend have been EXTREMELY supportive. I'm also lucky enough that one of my husband's poker friends, a woman also now my friend, had the surgery almost a year ago. She was close to my size but not quite and basically is half the person she was a year ago. She's been patiently answering my questions and sharing info with me. So, I think with these three AMAZING people I should be okay through it all.
So, now my journey begins.....