The life of a FABULOUS fat girl and her struggle with PCOS, Diabetes, IC and Pudendal Neuralgia and her journey through weight loss surgery.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Why I Hate Old Navy and Victoria's Secret

I know why they call it Victoria's Secret...

The secret is anytime someone comes into their store who cannot wear their product, they treat them like crap. I have walked into Victoria's Secret on a number of occasions and not ONCE has anyone EVER asked if I needed help. The thing that aggravates the crap out of me is that I may not necessarily be shopping for myself. I could be shopping for my mother or sister or whoever. The kicker is that I love their beauty products. I wear their perfume and body creams and lip glosses. I have almost gotten to the point that I want to send someone else in to buy my stuff. I hate shopping online because it can be a pain in the booty.

Old Navy associates and customers must be cut from the same cloth. Two weeks ago me and my sweetie went shopping there to look for khaki pants for him. He can fit into their pants and some of their shirts. Every time I go there I get ignored, people walk in front me and no one ever asks if I need help. I can't buy anything there really unless I am shopping for my sweetheart. It just irks the crap out of me.

My sister who wears a size 4 said she gets this treatment when she goes in Lane Bryant shopping for me or my mother. I guess size discrimination happens everywhere.

I think the worst is when other big people critize other big people. My mother is a big proponent of this. She has been plus size for years and constantly told me what I pretty face I had and how much better I would look if I lost weight. I'm the first one to admit I need to lose weight to get heathy. But I think I look good for my size. I dress nice, I wear cute clothes, My hair always looks good and I have great accessories. Many times the older ladies at my company have commented to others and it has gotten back to me their compliments.

But I think because growing up I never thought my mom was anything less than my mom and she was beautiful. That's why I hate that one commercial where the mother said she lost weight because her kid said she was fat. What she needed to do was teach her kid tolerance and to respect other people regardless of their size, race, creed, etc. Then lose the weight for herself.

I have an understanding that sometimes kids say inappropriate things but their parents need to teach them better instead of laughing it off. Bet they would not be laughing if their child was different and others were pointing or making rude comments!

Deep down I think the woman are jealous because I am a big beautiful intelligent freindly FATABULOUS woman!

That's probably why some women could never understand why I always had boyfriends. They did not realize, big women are better lovers! LOL!

I hate being a woman!

I got a call two weeks ago from my gynecologist that my pap smear did not come out so good. I had a bad one two years ago and she did a retest a year later. This time she only wants to wait six months. So I have to go again in January and spread my legs for all my glory to be shown to the world. If your skinny person it's uncomfortable, but when you are a big beautiful Fatabulous girl it is even worse. Try not to tip the table when you are putting your naked curvy booty on the lovely scratchy paper protecting the table. Then try to open your legs as wide as you can while worrying if your boobs are going to fall to the side and hit the floor or if the doctor can get to what she needs while working with all your lucious curves.
I'd rather pull my eye out by sticking a pen in it!!!
Then to make matters worse, I called yesterday with a question and they asked if I was still bleeding despite having the iud. Of course, I was, so I have to go get my blood levels tested. Maybe by levels are low. Who knows? I've been really tired lately but that can be normal for me. So we'll see what happens.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

UGH!

Today is one of those days! I feel like a big ball of crap. After two years of trying to figure out why I have been in so much pain on my left side and discovering other medical issues, it was discovered i have two herniated discs in my spine. It took 8 doctors to finally figure that out. i had reached my breaking point and my gyne was at a loss to suggest anything else and finally said she wanted me to go to a pain specialist. My first visit he said he thought my spine was messed up and my discs were out of whack. One MRI later I had two herniated discs at the L3/L4 and L4/L5. So I have undergone three spine treatments that were a combination of medicine injections and shock therapy. I am now functioning at 60%. It's better than it was, thank God! I'm back to work full time finally after being on leave for three months.

But today it is really acting up and I must have ate something bad that is wreaking havoc on my digestive system, because since yesterday I have been worshipping the porcelain goddess frequently. The thing that sucks is I just had some kind of flu two weeks ago.

And on top of that, even though I have had my Mirena IUD going on 9 months, I still have my period. It stopped for awhile after the doctor discovered it was not providing enough hormones and I now take a hormone pill daily. She wanted to know at my last visit 4 weeks ago if I came off the hormone if I would start bleeding again. The answer is YES! I forgot to get my medicine filled in time and went a few days without it and almost 5 weeks later I still have a period daily. I was so getting used to not using pads or other methods of contraception. I'm thinking if it does not stop soon, I'll need to call her back to see what we need to do to get this stopped.

I'm tired of feeling sick and tired.